Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
