matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
only you would photoshop your dick
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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