why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
