great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
