I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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