dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
