and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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