And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
