I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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