Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
