Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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