I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Sober January is a disaster.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
