I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
