I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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