Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
