How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
