I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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