You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize