I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
