I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
