Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
