Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
