I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize