Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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