Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
