I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
