wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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