i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
