new low.... made out with someone while peeing
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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