two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
