it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
