guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
one might say we're banned from that church
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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