Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
