someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
