i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize