He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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