I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
