I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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