If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
