The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
porn star boner night. come get it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
