Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
