And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
