i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so let's talk penis.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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