I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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