didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
