6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
