you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize