Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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