saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
