Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
