If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
