Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
