Fuck appropriateness.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
