Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
