the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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