found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my shit smells like andre
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
