and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i used baking grease as lip gloss
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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