Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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