I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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