...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
