I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
