bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
