i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
